ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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