In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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