Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
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