Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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