and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
