i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
