just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
