And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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