This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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