They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Randomize
