Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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