You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
