literally had 100 drinks last night.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
