I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
It's official drugs can't kill me
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Randomize
