i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
