you would pick up someone in the library
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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