Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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