Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize