Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
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