i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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