i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
