I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
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