I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
My vagina just clenched in fear
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
