are you so shy because you have an std?
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
