is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
