that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
