I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
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