when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
