wake up i wanna do it froggy style
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Randomize
