i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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