shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
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