question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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