Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
