Tell her she can't have a vagina
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
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