i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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