dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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