im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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