do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Randomize
