Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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