That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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