I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Houston, we have a squirter
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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