I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
