I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
