it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
