Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize