there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I believe in your delicious
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
