I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I would fuck him just for his dog
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
