I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
