I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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