im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
