remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
there is glitter all over my balls
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
