Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
