So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
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