k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
And then my night got REAL pukey
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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