I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize
