i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
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