i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
