I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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