Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
