If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
