you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
