cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
