my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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